the euthanizer

skinny arms,
but a whimper.

sometimes when he was
wrapped in the ersatz warmth of
blankets at night in the winter -
he would imagine the cotton turning into
fur turning into the limp body of an animal draped across
his chest, the worst kind of legacy.

sometimes the ashes would come out and
they would be so small.

sometimes he would see eyes
go white in his sleep. sometimes he
would see small
soft bags
slip slowly
      through heavy air.
~

I started watching Earthlings tonight and I really had to stop after the first part because I knew I couldn't take the whole movie in one sitting. Although I have a bit of a problem with basing the entire movie on a dialectic of shock (that's a cute little phrase. I might use it more later), it provides some pretty powerful arguments. Anyway, I was watching the part about pet shelters euthanizing animals, and I couldn't help but think what must go through the minds of the people who deliver the lethal injection or stuff the cats in the boxes that go into the gas chambers. What was their first experience like? And also...wouldn't they get into the profession because they love animals? What the fuck kind of job is that? People don't get into the profession of executing death-row prisoners because they love criminals - and yet the people who are qualified to euthanize animals are qualified because they care about animals a lot. What sorts of (no doubt) powerful reasons do they give themselves? Do they get nightmares? This movie is crazy scary - go watch it.